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What a difference four years makes

Sara Lingafelter
Sara Lingafelter
4 min read
What a difference four years makes

I haven’t written here in four years and I wouldn’t be writing here now, but for the fact of having paid off my credit cards (winning) and closing one (awesome) which lead to me not keeping current with my old rock climber girl dot com domain registration which was linked with a very old domain registrar account, so I didn’t see the warnings of impending doom for my old online identity (not awesome at the moment it happened, but it’s all good now).

To make a long story short, my old domain name now belongs to a new owner, which is fine, because I’m not really rock climber girl dot com anymore. I’m just Sara Lobkovich now, which in and of itself is a change, since then I was Sara Lingafelter.

In the last few years I’ve navigated job changes and residence changes — my nightmare is when I have to fill out background checks for work and list my residential addresses for the last ten years — and then decided when I turned 40 that I wasn’t going to have kids, so why on earth should I settle down and relationship again after so many tries and fails on that front. And because the universe is a coyote, then I met my future husband.

We celebrated our first wedding anniversary on Election Day, 2018, and things are off to the races (kinda literally). When we’re not working and co-parenting his two rad little human offspring, we’re riding motorcycles, or watching people ride motorcycles in person or on television, or traveling to watch people ride motorcycles in foreign countries. We honeymooned on the Isle of Man for the 2018 TT races, and can’t wait to go back. For the record, I started riding when I started law school, for extremely practical reasons of the ferry commute, so that’s around sixteen years ago. I did take a break after completing law school before discovering the magic and wonder of advanced rider training — and since starting to ride with Optimum Performance Rider Training in 2015 I’ve fallen back into the avid enthusiast category. I’m grateful to have found a spouse who was drawn to me in part because of and not in spite of my motorcycling life, since I seem to do very little in moderation.

When I unexpectedly lost the part of my identity that used to be rock climber girl dot com, a friend reminded me that that time of my life would still be a part of who I am, “but, to be fair,” Melinda wisdomed, “it was never more than a part anyway.” When I got back into motorcycling in 2014, people asked if I’d become motorcycle girl dot com. And I didn’t. Melinda’s right. Each wacky piece of my life is just a part of who I am, and I don’t care to slice and dice it all up anymore. So the piece I decided to keep is this one … where I’ve always struggled, with all of my interests, to figure out the balance and harmony between life, work, family, and creative and active pursuits.

My life these days is closer to right-sized than at other parts of it … I work from home full time with a consulting job I love dearly; my partner is both my partner in hard work and in living life outside of work. It’s a funny thing to say this for anyone who knows us both well, but we are learning a thing or two about working to live, instead of living to work, after doing so much of the latter for so many of each of our years. So it feels right, these days, to have this as my online home, such as it is. And as unlikely as I am to write and post often these days.

When I last wrote in 2014 I didn’t know I was headed for nine-ish months living in Atlanta; for a creeping break-up whose decline lasted longer than anything resembling a courtship did; for a crazy whirlwind move into the apartment of my dreams in a spot where I could walk to anywhere and anything I needed, with just enough room for me and Gibson, and a double bed so that I wouldn’t be inclined to invite anyone to share it with me other than my dog. I daydreamed of solo travel but had no idea that longing would take me to Malaysia, and Vietnam (post photo is one of my favorite selfies I’ve ever taken, from that blessing of a trip in the fall of 2016). I didn’t know I’d meet my future husband in Seattle while I was still living in Atlanta part time; or that we’d wind up married. I didn’t know how much aging happens from one’s late 30s to one’s early 40s and oy vey I’m still wrapping my head around that one even though I’m several months into my year of life, the universe and everything. We own a home now, which is a crazy thing for two feral animals who decided to share a habitat. And since things are going so well between us, we’ve decided to take on some remodeling projects so I am looking for therapist referrals.

This life is such a series of unexpected twists and turns. And for those of you still reading through all of them, thank you for sticking with me along the way.

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Sara Lingafelter

Sara (Grace) Lingafelter takes steps forward and backward toward a right-sized life on a daily basis.