Yoga tonight for the first time since February.
I have not taken care of myself. This year, I’ve traded my flexibility and lightness for a body built by force. My thighs, calves, back and will are overdeveloped. I have to work to open my heart, where it used to be light and open without effort.
I dedicated my class tonight to love for myself.
The leader of the class — the person present this evening to help bring out the teacher in me — observed that fighting just causes more fighting. I wonder if he was somehow able to see all of the fighting I’ve been doing. And, that I don’t want to do. That I would rather roll my shoulders back and feel my breath and move through the world like water. That I would rather bow my head, and honor the spirit in the beings around me than do battle.
At the end of class, laying in corpse pose… as I felt each part of my body dissolve into the air… at some point, my breath deepened, and the tears started to roll. It is time to be kind to myself.
After I had peeled myself off my mat, and put away my block and bolster, he said to me:
“Congratulations for peeling back a few layers.”
People in my life have joked about how I am like an onion.
Maybe it’s true. When I think back on this year, I have acquired a few extra layers. And, it is time to peel them back, honor the spirit in others and myself, and flow, not force, my way through the world.
Sara Lobkovich Newsletter
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